Twilight Rant

Why? Because it's almost midnight. I don't want to go to bed. And every blog needs a twilight post.

So once upon a time I heard about this unknown book called Twilight. I heard about it from a Harry Potter fan, whom I have great respect for, so I decided it's probably a good book. Then another friend dragged me out to see the movie. I was somewhat excited, after all I was leaving the house to hang out at the mall. In fact I even promised myself that if it was good I'd read the book.

For those who are wondering. I haven't read the book yet.

But Twilight pisses me off. Just from the plot description it sounds like some 13 year old's vampire fanfic. I mean sparkle? WTF? As a proud creator of a vampire OC I am disgusted. Half the charm of a vampire is that they gave up sunrises, sunsets, and normal food for eternal life! Now they can see the sun rise and set, why? It's original yes, but there is a reason why no one else has EVER had a sparkly vampire. Besides, I can't use the word sparkly to describe a boy. It makes it seem too yaoi.

Bella on the other hand pissed me off to. Just by watching the movie I could tell she was a Mary Sue. I mean come on! She moves to a new school, all the guys love her, she's "average," she fixes everyone's relationship problems, and she has a werewolf and a vampire after her heart. Why? WHY!?

I was browsing flairs on facebook and one said "who cares? It'll be dead in 5 years anyways." Unfortunately I don't think it will. Twilight has left such a mark on teenage culture that it will stick around. There are so many fangirls and so many haters that it will never be forgotten. And the whole Team "insert character name here" will stick too. It's kinda ingenious. Please tell me the Twilight fangirls didn't create that part?

That's really all of my rant. Life's kicking my ass at the moment, so I don't get much time to update. Sorry!

A little personal rant time...

I'm currently failing English and Government, so I have no time for a full out yaoi post, or even to work on my stories. (How many months late is the last chapter of Haunted again!?) But I currently have a little rant to get off my chest.

If you think something is lame you don't have to say so! And putting a little smiley after it doesn't help! Honestly, remember your mother's advice if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all!

So to explain where that little rant came from, I had a story idea on the way out to band practice. Not really a story, but just a character, and three questions that sum him up. Basically he's a vampire that contracted AIDS by biting someone. Now, it has been months since my good friend or I have had any sort of good inspiration. (The most memorable night of inspiration added 8 prompts to my prompt list, that was three months ago.) So I was quite excited to tell her about it. Well... I forgot one thing. This friend is a vampire fanatic, and I know next to nothing about vampires.

So I explained the vampire to her. Her response: "lol that's lame XD"... and then she continued to totally tear apart the character, and ended with, "but that's an interesting idea."

Now, the cherry on the top of this? Yesterday I gave her advice on how to deal with someone calling her dumb. And she goes and says this, and URG! Oh so sorry I don't obsess over vampires, and that I don't have time to research them. NEXT TIME I have an idea, I won't tell you till I've researched it... or perhaps just not tell you at all!

To conclude I had to leave the conversation. Her words really turned my mind upside down and I couldn't deal with it. I'll have to go back later and tell her why I disappeared... maybe...

EDIT: Yeah for quick fights. I finally went back to the chat, and asked her to never preface a response to an idea with " lol that's lame XD." Turns out she wasn't talking about my story idea, just that it would suck to be that vampire. So I feel a bit better now. ^.^ And yeah. I'm good. ^.^

The Most Ignored/important Thing

Don't do It

As the time of Tsuna's death drawls near, he tells his lover of his impeding doom. But what happens when all negotiations go Wrong...

Sounds interesting doesn't it? I'm sure it could be a lovely fic. It could be the best damn fic the world has ever seen. But I would not read it.

Why? Just look at that summary. The title isn't capitalized right. The description isn't spell checked and I can promise you that "Wrong" shouldn't be capitalized. And the whole rhetorical question makes it sound like they don't know what they're doing.

Now before someone starts complaining about me tearing apart someone summery and title, let me tell you something. "Don't Do It," doesn't exist yet. This is a description I wrote in five seconds after looking at my prompt list and choosing a random one. And I did it to make a point.

Too many times we spend hours or even days working on a fanfic, to blow over the title and description. Why do we do this? Because we are tired of working in the story, and we want to get it out to the world so we can collect our glorious reviews and favs.

But the summary and title are the first things people will see of the story. They are what people will judge your fic on before they take the time to open it and read the first paragraph.

In my oh so humble opinion, you should present three things to an audience - Title, Summary, basic warnings.

1. Title - The title should almost be an initial summary of the story. It should have meaning, and depth. If you have a major motif working its way through your story then try to fit it into the title, or even call the story by it. Did a song inspire it, or happen to match up wiht the plot of the story almost exactly? Then you can use the song title. For example I was working on a Sora mpreg where almost every phrase of the popular Panic! At the Disco song "Camisado" fit one character or another. Phantom-chick's Poison is another good example of this. She titled her story Poison, because that song inspired it I believe. Or a good phrase. For example one lovely pwp I wrote was called "Gorgeously Warm and Delicious" - which just so happened to be a phrase I used to describe one of my characters. Another one is "Like Father Like Child," which is related to the last phrase of the story - "Yes, looks just like her father." The title should be inventive, but most importantly formatted right. Capitalize all major words, and PLEASE SPELL THEM CORRECTLY! No one wants to see "A tail of Love and Hattered"
   
2. Summary - Be creative. Be unique. But most importantly - Be correct. Reread over your summary after you've written it. If you spell something wrong in the summary then people will think you probably spelled plenty of things wrong in the fic. Try not to give away the joke, or major plot twist, but at least tell the reader what to expect. And don't be cheesy about it. Avoid cliches such as "love at first sight," and "deep dark secret." Also avoid the rhetorical questions. There is no reason to ask what will happen. That's what the reader should be asking.
3. Warnings - Some people might claim that you don't want warnings, because then people will know what they're opening up. But you want basic warnings on the summary so that people will know what they're opening up. Often times when I start hunting for fics to read I am look for particular phrases depending on my mood. Often times these will be PWP, Lemon, Mpreg, or Fluff. It's so much quicker if these words on on the summary at the end so I don't have to scan a description, or open a fic. By all means have another warning section in the fic, but please put a few out there so we know what we're looking at before we look.

And there is my rant for the day. I hope it helped, and I hope you comment. I honestly have no idea if anyone ever looks here, because no one comments. I know I promised some reviews several days ago, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I will try to soon, but at the moment I have a 7 chapter fic and 7 day deadline staring me in the face. So I probably won't have time for a few days. But I will see ya'll next week with yet another post!

The 3 Trimesters of Mpreg...

Mpreg. Strangely this topic sends writers/readers/normal people running for the hills. Why? Because let's face it. It is NOT normal for men to get knocked up. But nor is it normal for a guy and all his best friends be gay, all dating, and have perfect seme/uke relations.

So before you ask, I am for mpreg. I have written one completely and am writing 3 more at the moment. I am a major fan, and there are some amazing ones out there. However, often a writer won't know what to do, or how pregnancies will work.

So I broke it into three parts, or trimesters if you will - conception, pregnancy, delievery. All three are important, and all must be thought about in depth.

1. Conception- How did your uke get pregnant? What miricle brought this upon him? Is he happy or not?These are some basic questions you'll need to ask before you start your mpreg. Generally men get pregnant in fiction because they aren't human. Take any SOLDIER from Final Fantasy VII. You can claim that they aren't technically human anymore because of the Mako injections. Or if the character is an angel or demon.

Also consider how the uke realizes he's preggers. Men don't normally take a pregnancy test. Did they do blood work because he was constantly ill? Or did he not realize till he was in labor? (hey... it could happen!) Perhaps it's something common in their world and they took a test? Or maybe someone told them they sounded like a pregnant girl, and it got their mind working. Whatever it is, make sure it's plausible. Most readers have a built in bullshit meter which mpreg is quite likely to set off if it's not well thought out.

2. The actual pregnancy - Too many times writers don't research pregnancy, and the uke starts showing within a month. Or he gets too sick too soon. Or delievers too quickly.

Between the conception and delevery is the endless research that you NEED. What sort of cravings should the poor uke have? When will he begin to show? How will his hormones affect him?

There are bound to be blogs about being pregnant somewhere on this grand place we call the internet. Read them! They will help you understand what women go through when pregnant, so just adapt it to your uke's situation and all will be well.

3. Delievery - Eventually that baby is going to have to come out, but how?

• C-section - Honestly this is the most plausible, unless you plan to give the uke the necessary plumbing to deliever a child. But as always RESEARCH it before you write it. Know how bloody it should be, where the cuts are, and what the uke will have to do for it.
  
• Don't describe it - This is the easiest way. Why? Because you don't have to know how the child was delievered either. No siree! All you have to do is write about the nervous seme as his lover goes through childbirth. This is a good time for a revilation on how he treated his uke, or even an epic battle. Just anything to happen while the uke gives birth and destract the readers from the poor crying man going through labor.
  
• "Natural" Birth - Umm... Not quite so natural, but it's always an option to give a man plumbing. Normally this would be done by magic, or genetic enginering. Or you have passage way out. I don't like it however. I mean, imagine the last time it hurt to give a shit. How big was that shit? less than half the size of a baby? Double that pain and discomfort for a longer time, with an audience... Sound pleasant? No. So let's go with a vagina or c-section!

This is only part of what it takes to write an mpreg. You have to have some sort of plot, since having a baby isn't a good enough plot for some people. Also consider what the children will look like, and be named. How will they act?

All of this is important to writing an mpreg. Enough rambling for now. I have an mpreg to write. Little Angelina Nicole Phantomhive Michealis needs to be born! Please feel free to comment!

Muse Hunting

Deep in the jungles of Africa there lives an exotic mystic beast called inspiration. This beast is akin to the plot bunnies - rabid pink beast that bite unsespecting victims filling them with a posionous urge to write. However, unlike the plot bunny, whom writers curse for their frequent biting, the inspiration is sought after and hunted - generally with pen and paper made weaponry. Why are they hunted? Because their rare feathers are required for a story to be created.

By now, some of you are probably wondering why you're reading my insanity. Part of this insanity was brought on by a whole day in front of the computer going "I want to write. What should I write?" I have a list of 25 (and growing!) plot ideas some of which date all the way back to December. They span three fandoms and at least 10 pairings. They range in depth from PWP (porn without point) to deep angishing motif filled philosophy. And yet I couldn't write.

I had no inspiration. I would choose a prompt, and the scenes would start to fill my head, but I couldn't figure out where to start describing them. The words wouldn't come. I sat there for 5 hours, fingers poised, waiting for some sort of story to start writing itself.

There has to be some sort of solution to this. I hate days like these when I want to write, and can see the great potential of an idea, but yet not be able to get it out. Luckily there is. It's just that in my stupidity I decided against using one of these cures.

1. Do something else for a while - In essence I am doing that now, by writing this, but whenever the ideas won't come, get up and go do something else. Get out of the fandom! Honestly reading Ciel/Sebastian fics didn't help me write one. Reading Yamamoto/Gokudera doujinshi didn't help me write the story that I have promised someont for tomorrow. (Not that I want to work on that one anyways. The prompt is Yama/Goku and leapard print socks. Not good when my mind wants to angst.) I find it quite helpful to get up and do some exercise. It gets the chemicals in my brain flowing better.
   
2. Change something - Especially if your sitting at a desktop, you probably have the same view, the same music, and the same people around you. Change it up a bit. Switch to a new artist. Change the decorations. Move to another room. Do something. Get something new to flood your senses.
3. Smelly good stuff- Your sense of smell is amazing. If I'm ever stuck I open some windows and light some insense. Insense will flood a room faster than a candle, and stick around longer. (Hence me opening the windows so it doesn't still smell like "romance" three days later) Smells and candles will help to create a more romantic mood, especially good for writing yaoi romance. (Not quite so good for writing Non-con, or adventure. Generally those don't have passionate romance in them.)
4. Write by Hand - Yes, I know that you'll then have to type it up, but thus is the curse of writing. Hand writing is more personal than typing. It allows you to doodle on the page edges, write questions to your self, and fling your pen and paper across the room with minimum monetary damage. It also makes your brain slow down and think more because it'll take longer to commit each sentense to a medium. (If you really want to slow down, try writing with your nondominant hand. It cuts me down to half speed, and I'm pretty dexerous with both hands!)
5. Plot something new - This is the one that broke me out of my curse. My co-conspirator Kenzie texted me, and we started talking about foot fetishes. This topic molded into a story, which molded into a series, all based on Mukuro having fetishes. Around this time, the dam on my thoughts broke, and I was finally able to start slowly working on fixing my Gokudera/Tsuna non-con. (Coming to a FFn account near you!)
   

So there are some tips, to find your inspiration. I really hope they help, and I'll probably be posting something new in a few days. (Either my essay on mpreg once I clean that up, or my review of JPqueen's store and the 4 doujinshi I bought from them.) Thanks for reading, and good writing!

Also if you read, please comment, and leave a link to any of your writing! I would love to see what you've done!