Twilight Rant

Why? Because it's almost midnight. I don't want to go to bed. And every blog needs a twilight post.

So once upon a time I heard about this unknown book called Twilight. I heard about it from a Harry Potter fan, whom I have great respect for, so I decided it's probably a good book. Then another friend dragged me out to see the movie. I was somewhat excited, after all I was leaving the house to hang out at the mall. In fact I even promised myself that if it was good I'd read the book.

For those who are wondering. I haven't read the book yet.

But Twilight pisses me off. Just from the plot description it sounds like some 13 year old's vampire fanfic. I mean sparkle? WTF? As a proud creator of a vampire OC I am disgusted. Half the charm of a vampire is that they gave up sunrises, sunsets, and normal food for eternal life! Now they can see the sun rise and set, why? It's original yes, but there is a reason why no one else has EVER had a sparkly vampire. Besides, I can't use the word sparkly to describe a boy. It makes it seem too yaoi.

Bella on the other hand pissed me off to. Just by watching the movie I could tell she was a Mary Sue. I mean come on! She moves to a new school, all the guys love her, she's "average," she fixes everyone's relationship problems, and she has a werewolf and a vampire after her heart. Why? WHY!?

I was browsing flairs on facebook and one said "who cares? It'll be dead in 5 years anyways." Unfortunately I don't think it will. Twilight has left such a mark on teenage culture that it will stick around. There are so many fangirls and so many haters that it will never be forgotten. And the whole Team "insert character name here" will stick too. It's kinda ingenious. Please tell me the Twilight fangirls didn't create that part?

That's really all of my rant. Life's kicking my ass at the moment, so I don't get much time to update. Sorry!

A little personal rant time...

I'm currently failing English and Government, so I have no time for a full out yaoi post, or even to work on my stories. (How many months late is the last chapter of Haunted again!?) But I currently have a little rant to get off my chest.

If you think something is lame you don't have to say so! And putting a little smiley after it doesn't help! Honestly, remember your mother's advice if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all!

So to explain where that little rant came from, I had a story idea on the way out to band practice. Not really a story, but just a character, and three questions that sum him up. Basically he's a vampire that contracted AIDS by biting someone. Now, it has been months since my good friend or I have had any sort of good inspiration. (The most memorable night of inspiration added 8 prompts to my prompt list, that was three months ago.) So I was quite excited to tell her about it. Well... I forgot one thing. This friend is a vampire fanatic, and I know next to nothing about vampires.

So I explained the vampire to her. Her response: "lol that's lame XD"... and then she continued to totally tear apart the character, and ended with, "but that's an interesting idea."

Now, the cherry on the top of this? Yesterday I gave her advice on how to deal with someone calling her dumb. And she goes and says this, and URG! Oh so sorry I don't obsess over vampires, and that I don't have time to research them. NEXT TIME I have an idea, I won't tell you till I've researched it... or perhaps just not tell you at all!

To conclude I had to leave the conversation. Her words really turned my mind upside down and I couldn't deal with it. I'll have to go back later and tell her why I disappeared... maybe...

EDIT: Yeah for quick fights. I finally went back to the chat, and asked her to never preface a response to an idea with " lol that's lame XD." Turns out she wasn't talking about my story idea, just that it would suck to be that vampire. So I feel a bit better now. ^.^ And yeah. I'm good. ^.^

When life gives you lemons... write smut!

"Writing smut is an exercise in combining pointless sentences and cliche adjective in an attempt to make a simple listing of actions a story." - Yaoisakka

Okay, okay, cliche title I know. Please forgive me, I'm ill.

As you might have guessed today's topic is smut writing. Why? Because I've been beating my brains out trying to finish a smut piece that just refuses to be written, also because I saw a quote I once said,

and finally because I've been reading weepingcock, a livejournal community that is dedicated to bad smut.

So hopefully you read the quote at the top. If not you might want to, because that's what today's topic is!

I honestly believe this quote to be true. When you write smut you are honestly writing pure action. Very rarely will your MC being coherent enough to actually say something crucial to the plot. So your scene will probably consist of action, moans, and very very purple prose.

After all, for those of us who are virgins writing smut, or in the sense of yaoi, aren't guys and don't know what a prostrate feels like, all we know is what we've read/watched. So we recycle scenes, phrases and descriptions in our own words to recreate our own scenes. (Please don't misunderstand what I just said. I was not attempting to call anyone a plagerist.)

So what can you do? How can you keep your list of actions from being a list of actions? Well, I do in fact have a few tips.

• Watch sentense legnth - One thing that tends to happen is that we writers try to squish actions into the same sentense. Don't! If you just had a complex sentense describing how his tongue ran over the exposed flesh as his hands carded through dark ebony hair, then the next sentense should just describe how one hand floated down to tweak a nipple, now how his tongue traveled lower, as did his hands, tweaking both nipples as they passed. (Is it bad that I can't write smut when I try, but when giving examples I'm somehow writing it?) Keep long setenses next to short ones and vice versa.
  
• Look out for repetition - This comes in two categories. Repetition of names, and repetition of descriptions. As a general rule, I only mention each character's name once per paragraph. Why? Because you don't want:
  

  Sora moaned as Riku swallowed his cock. Sora couldn't believe that Riku was that skillful with his tongue. Hand's burried in Riku's hair as Sora threw his head back with a gutteral moan. Sora finally pulled Riku back up for a heated kiss.

  See? Not pretty. Try substituting the silverette, the shorter male, and simply he, instead. As for the repetition of descriptions, basically just be aware of the scene that's being described. Don't repeat descriptions, colors, and even try to avoid repetion of nouns. For example if you just called a phalus a cock a sentence ago refer to it as a member, manhood, length or even dick, just not as a cock. It just makes the prose prettier.
• Keep one character's POV per paragraph - Some might be confused. Some might skip this section because they think it only applies to First person stories. But it doesn't. What I mean is that when you start writing a paragraph you pick a passive character and an active character. The active tends to be the first person mentioned, so in the excerpt above it's Sora. Notice how every sentense is about Sora? Riku is just mentioned so we know what's happening to Sora. Wouldn't it be weird/bad if it was:
  

  Sora moaned as Riku swallowed his cock. Riku eagerly swallowed, trying to take in as much of Sora as he could. Hand's burried in Riku's hair as Sora threw his head back with a gutteral moan. Riku felt the cock slip from his mouth as Sora pulled him back up for a heated kiss.
  

  See what I mean? It changes the focus too much. Find a character, and stick with him for a few paragraphs before the other one takes control!

So that's about it for today. Hopefully I'll be going to a convention this weekend, as long as I feel better tomorrow. -crosses fingers- And perhaps then I'll be able to write some more smut and finally finish one of the 10 or so stories that are just sitting around waiting for smut...