When life gives you lemons... write smut!

"Writing smut is an exercise in combining pointless sentences and cliche adjective in an attempt to make a simple listing of actions a story." - Yaoisakka

Okay, okay, cliche title I know. Please forgive me, I'm ill.

As you might have guessed today's topic is smut writing. Why? Because I've been beating my brains out trying to finish a smut piece that just refuses to be written, also because I saw a quote I once said,

and finally because I've been reading weepingcock, a livejournal community that is dedicated to bad smut.

So hopefully you read the quote at the top. If not you might want to, because that's what today's topic is!

I honestly believe this quote to be true. When you write smut you are honestly writing pure action. Very rarely will your MC being coherent enough to actually say something crucial to the plot. So your scene will probably consist of action, moans, and very very purple prose.

After all, for those of us who are virgins writing smut, or in the sense of yaoi, aren't guys and don't know what a prostrate feels like, all we know is what we've read/watched. So we recycle scenes, phrases and descriptions in our own words to recreate our own scenes. (Please don't misunderstand what I just said. I was not attempting to call anyone a plagerist.)

So what can you do? How can you keep your list of actions from being a list of actions? Well, I do in fact have a few tips.

• Watch sentense legnth - One thing that tends to happen is that we writers try to squish actions into the same sentense. Don't! If you just had a complex sentense describing how his tongue ran over the exposed flesh as his hands carded through dark ebony hair, then the next sentense should just describe how one hand floated down to tweak a nipple, now how his tongue traveled lower, as did his hands, tweaking both nipples as they passed. (Is it bad that I can't write smut when I try, but when giving examples I'm somehow writing it?) Keep long setenses next to short ones and vice versa.
  
• Look out for repetition - This comes in two categories. Repetition of names, and repetition of descriptions. As a general rule, I only mention each character's name once per paragraph. Why? Because you don't want:
  

  Sora moaned as Riku swallowed his cock. Sora couldn't believe that Riku was that skillful with his tongue. Hand's burried in Riku's hair as Sora threw his head back with a gutteral moan. Sora finally pulled Riku back up for a heated kiss.

  See? Not pretty. Try substituting the silverette, the shorter male, and simply he, instead. As for the repetition of descriptions, basically just be aware of the scene that's being described. Don't repeat descriptions, colors, and even try to avoid repetion of nouns. For example if you just called a phalus a cock a sentence ago refer to it as a member, manhood, length or even dick, just not as a cock. It just makes the prose prettier.
• Keep one character's POV per paragraph - Some might be confused. Some might skip this section because they think it only applies to First person stories. But it doesn't. What I mean is that when you start writing a paragraph you pick a passive character and an active character. The active tends to be the first person mentioned, so in the excerpt above it's Sora. Notice how every sentense is about Sora? Riku is just mentioned so we know what's happening to Sora. Wouldn't it be weird/bad if it was:
  

  Sora moaned as Riku swallowed his cock. Riku eagerly swallowed, trying to take in as much of Sora as he could. Hand's burried in Riku's hair as Sora threw his head back with a gutteral moan. Riku felt the cock slip from his mouth as Sora pulled him back up for a heated kiss.
  

  See what I mean? It changes the focus too much. Find a character, and stick with him for a few paragraphs before the other one takes control!

So that's about it for today. Hopefully I'll be going to a convention this weekend, as long as I feel better tomorrow. -crosses fingers- And perhaps then I'll be able to write some more smut and finally finish one of the 10 or so stories that are just sitting around waiting for smut...

Practice makes perfect, but please hid your garbage

First off, I want to apologize for the horrible lack of posting recently. I got a bit stuck on a story (I've been stuck for a month and a half now) and refused to work on anything else till I got it written. It's been very slow coming. But there's a reason why...

While I've written many a smut pieces before, never have a written a blow job, however the final bit of smut in my fic requires one character sucking off his partner, something he has never done before. And that's it. That's my problem. I'm totally uncomfortable writing it because I've never written it before.

It actually brings back memories of my first time writing yaoi. I was writing two original characters from my first nanowrimo novel. These two character intrigued me. They weren't gay when I first decided to throw them in, in fact they were only supposed to be there for a scene, but then they came out and demanded a sex scene.

It was bloody awful. I didn't know how anal sex worked. I didn't know what anything looked like. I didn't know how it should feel. I was totally lost. Luckily there are only three people who've seen this story, me, and my two friends who told me it sucked.

My point is, that everyone has that first sex scene. They have their first time for their bishie's to try something new. Their first time to write a fetish, or a threesome. Their first time to write garbage.

In my opinion you shouldn't post your "first time." Chances are that even if you've been reading yaoi smut for years it won't come out well. Writing smut takes practice. So practice some, and throw out the stinky garbage. I'm sure you're bishie's won't mind as long as they keep getting laid.